Beauty 365 … Stories of Love and Life for Everyday

We often associate beauty with youth, perfection and strength. Advertising every moment assures us that our products will sell if they are flaunted by the young, the strong, and the perfect. Which is why I was surprised this morning when I found beauty in an unlikely place- an aged care home.

Since suffering a stroke just over two years ago, my father, who can no longer walk, resides in a home for the aged in the Eastern suburbs of Melbourne. I visit him a couple of times a week in an effort to make his days a little shorter and a little brighter.

I sat in the chapel this morning awaiting the morning service. (The aged perhaps seem a little more interested in fostering a relationship with God than those of us who feel like we still have an eternity left to live!) A procession of residents in varying degrees of fragility of body, mind and spirit, slowly filed past with the aid of sticks, walkers, wheelchairs and the strong arms of the carers. For some, the most basic daily activities are burdensome challenges. Most are reliant on the help of the staff to wash, feed and dress. So, where does the beauty bit come in, you may ask?

It comes in Margaret, who though she is in constant pain, never ceases to find something to laugh about and brings others in on the joke with her. It comes in Mary, whose expression, when she sees me, is as if she is meeting the queen herself. Conversation is beyond her, but without fail, tells me how beautiful I am each time she sees me. It comes in Sara, the nurse, who always finds time in her over packed day to listen to the residents and shines with her warm and understanding smile. And it comes in my dad, the once strong and capable business and family man, grappling with his own lack of mobility and freedom, and yet dignified and other-centered as ever, quick with an encouraging word or a well thought out piece of advice.

I realized this morning that the wrinkles, the weakness, the illness, while perhaps not beautiful in themselves, give rise to possibilities of greatness and beauty that as yet are far beyond me in my (comparatively) young, fit, strong body.

I love this poem by Elisabeth Kublr-Ross. I suppose it articulates my sentiments better than I have.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross –